Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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