found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We left the knife in your bed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
