She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
