Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
