I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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