So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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