Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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