I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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