It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize