Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
