Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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