hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
