the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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