we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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