so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
