So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
