a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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