i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
