Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
