I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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