i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
