I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
