Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize