I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
