can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
