Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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