Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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