You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
