Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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