remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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