yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
