So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
