I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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