You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize