Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
