Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
