I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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