i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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