You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
