i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
