My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
