Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
