I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
