he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
