The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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