drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
