my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
