But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
