Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize