It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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