Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
