Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
