You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
