Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
