Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
