He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
