So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
