You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize