She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize