he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
