I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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