I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
